


To Love the Stars

by My_Own_Infinity



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Cecilos Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Self-Conscious Cecil, and Carlos loves him, in which Cecil hates mirrors, literally the fluffiest thing I have ever written, pure fluff, semi-autistic!Carlos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-10 12:36:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1159814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Own_Infinity/pseuds/My_Own_Infinity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt: "Cecil has not looked at himself in a mirror for many years, so he lets Carlos describe him one night while they are laying in bed."</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Love the Stars

Cecil’s eyes were closed, and Carlos could feel steady breathing against his chest as he gently traced the tattoos that spiraled up his boyfriend’s arms to his neck. Starting at the wrist, he trailed his fingers upward, following every twist and turn of the tentacle-like markings until he reached the area just under the ear, where the neck met the chin.  There, something made him pause. “What is this?” he murmured.

“What is what?” Cecil replied sleepily, smiling slightly at the sensation of Carlos’ fingers on his jaw.

“This.” Carlos removed his hand just long enough to plant a kiss on the marking of his interest.  “This tattoo. The eye.  Does it… Can you see out of it?”

“Oh, there’s an eye there?” Cecil said as he instinctually turned his head in a failed attempt to examine the side of his own jaw.

“What do you mean?” Carlos met Cecil’s blank look with an equally perplexed one of his own.  “Did you not know that that was there?”

Cecil shook his head. “Once they hit my neck, it’s hard to see my tattoos on my own.” He gestured with his head, imitating his useless attempt to glimpse the purple eye just a few seconds before. “You know my…problem with mirrors.”

Carlos did know. When the two of them were furnishing their apartment, Cecil’s only request was that the house be devoid of mirrors. (Of course, that prevented Carlos from fixing his hair in the morning without Cecil’s help, but he got the feeling that Cecil planned it that way.)

And then a question occurred to Carlos, so obvious that he was surprised he had never thought of it before.  “Cecil,” he asked, “If you can’t see your reflection then how do you know what you look like at all?”

“Oh, I can see my arms and legs just fine,” Cecil said.

“But your hair, your eyes…” Carlos caressed Cecil’s forehead, where his third eye gazed downward – something Carlos had learned to take as a sign of discomfort.

“No…I can’t see my face.” Cecil said. He shifted uneasily, looking ashamed. “I mean, I know that I’m not…”

Carlos waited for Cecil to respond, but he just rolled onto his stomach and rested his head in folded arms, avoiding Carlos’ eyes. “Not what?” Carlos prompted.

Cecil took a few seconds to respond. “Not…attractive,” he said finally, so soft it was almost a whisper.

Disbelief coursed through Carlos. “Cecil, you are  _beautiful,_ ” he said.  Cecil was still staring down at the bed sheets, not looking at him, and Carlos was beginning to grow frustrated. How could he make Cecil see how incredible he was?

Carlos had never been very good at complements. Even with Cecil, he always seemed to struggle putting the love and adoration he felt into words, anxiety telling him that his love was  _too_  voluminous; that he would say something stupid and embarrass himself.  His enthusiasm  _did_ tend to alienate people, and he was terrified that it would do the same to Cecil. So, he restrained himself, treating Cecil lovingly but withholding many of his true thoughts and feelings in favor of a calmer, more withdrawn sort of affection. And Carlos regretted that now, because how could Cecil know how beautiful he was if he couldn’t see himself in the mirror? If nobody told him?

And then Carlos had an idea.

“Your hair,” he said, taking Cecil’s hands in his own, “Is brown. Or, at least, it is right now. It changes sometimes. But it isn’t _just_  brown, it’s…” and here he hesitated.  _Come on Carlos, he’s staring at you. You’re not going to humiliate yourself. Just…say it._ He closed his eyes to calm his nerves, and from then on his words came in a rush. “It’s red and gold, and when the sun hits it, it seems to shine. Maybe it  _does_  shine. It falls around your face in perfect waves, and when I first saw you it was what stood out to me the most, until I saw your smile. Your smile is so bright it’s a light source of its own, Cecil. It’s the kind of smile that makes me want to go to the ends of the earth just to see it. Just to make you laugh. Because when you laugh, your entire face sings with happiness. Your muscles relax, your eyes, wrinkle, and nothing –  _nothing_  – is more perfect.

“You have just a hint of freckles. I can only see them when the light hits your face just right, but when it does they decorate skin so smooth and deep I want to lose myself forever exploring it. And your eyes – oh god, Cecil, your eyes are the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Before I moved here, every night before I went to sleep I would sit outside and gaze at the sky, at the Milky Way.  And I used to miss that; used to long to see space again. But I don’t need to miss it anymore, Cecil, because of you. The sky is void, but your eyes are stars.” Carlos was breathing deeply, heart still pounding. He opened his eyes for the first time since he started talking.

Cecil didn’t respond immediately, and Carlos panicked. Was he angry? Offended? He desperately tried to read Cecil’s facial expression. Oh, he’d done it now. He hadn’t meant to say as much as he did. Cecil was probably going t hate him, or laugh at him, or –

All thought vanished from his mind as Cecil pulled him into a deep, wonderful, _perfect_  kiss. And when he released him, he was smiling that incredible smile of his, all three eyes shining brighter than the Milky Way. “Is that…really how you think of me?” he asked softly.

“Cecil, that’s how you  _are_.”

“Oh, Carlos,” Cecil kissed him again, this time wrapping his arms around Carlos’ waist and pulling him close. “I love you.”

Carlos smiled. “And I love you, my beautiful, perfect Cecil.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: I actually based Carlos’ behavior off of myself. I'm afraid to complement people for the same reasons Carlos lists, and I actually struggled trying to come up with beautiful ways to describe Cecil because of this.  
> I was actually describing a friend of mine, and all the things I wish I could say to him. So, I guess this is dedicated to him, even though he’ll never know how perfect I think he is.  
> (On an unrelated note, my Tumblr is [wearereadyforwar](http://wearereadyforwar.tumblr.com/), where I cosplay and post fanfiction and the like. Hope you enjoyed the fic as much as I enjoyed writing it!)


End file.
